In-depth story: Chandi Rae Bozeman – How This Two-time Survivor Found Freedom in Turning Her Pain into Purpose, and Can Help You Do the Same

She was 14 and returning to her home country after living abroad for years. Life in Germany as an Army Brat had been filled with adventure as she mingled with people from diverse cultures. Moving every few years was normal for her family. But her normal was interrupted when she returned to her home city. Nothing could have prepared her for what would take place over the course of a single year.

“My message is the same across the board, it’s just packaged differently. My biggest gift is love.” – Chandi Rae Bozeman

Chandi Rae Bozeman is a multi-talented woman with a wealth of accomplishments under her belt. She is an international speaker, a certified life coach, a licensed image consultant with over 20 years of experience, a songwriter, an author, and the creator of Vanish Board^TM and the Tell Your Story Conference.

She has had numerous interview appearances on various radio stations and has been featured in six publications including the Woman to Watch feature in Speak Woman Magazine. In addition, Bozeman made Ambition Magazine’s 2018 Ambitious List.

Simply put, Bozeman is a force.

Last February, over 100 women had the opportunity to attend the first installment of her life-changing conference – the Tell Your Story Conference in Dayton, Ohio. The theme for the conference was “From Pain to Purpose.” Attendees were encouraged to embrace their stories and turn their painful experiences into purpose.

Bozeman, who has lived in many different places, including Germany, has an extraordinary gift of connecting with people, and those who she interacts with are drawn to her transparency, her spirit and her story.

“I didn’t realize I had that gift until about a year ago, but I think the drawing factor is that people see someone who has decided not to hide,” Bozeman told The Weight She Carries. “I believe so many people want to stop hiding, and they get to not hide through my story.”

And what a story she has to tell – one filled with painful experiences in her adolescences that took her decades to heal from.

A Devastating Welcome…

Bozeman was born in Indianapolis, Indiana, where she spent the first few years of her life. Her parents were in the military, so her family moved frequently.

After living in Germany for several years, Bozeman and her family moved back to the U.S. when she was 14. But by the time she was 15, Bozeman had been raped…twice.

The first incident took place in her grandmother’s house.

“My feelings were really crushed because I was a teenager in love, so I thought. And when it came to the whole act, I was telling him I didn’t want to do it, but I wasn’t given a choice. I was saddened by his force and I just kind of gave up,” Bozeman said. “I was also afraid to yell out because I didn’t want to get him in trouble, and I was afraid I would get in trouble, too.”

“A lot of women don’t want to yell ‘Rape’ because they feel that because they gave in, then it’s their fault. Naturally, we are nurturers and protectors. And we will sometimes even protect someone who harms us. It’s very sick, but it’s very true.” – Chandi Rae Bozeman

A few weeks later, Bozeman discovered she was pregnant, and ultimately decided to have an abortion.

“That experience was horrific. I screamed and fought like I was being raped all over again. My mother and aunt were by my side supporting me through my own decision. They had to hold me down along with other doctors,” she said.

The doctor who performed the procedure was unsympathetic and looked at Bozeman in disgust, and was upset by all the commotion in the room.

“He looked at me like he wanted to say, ‘You’re out here being hot and now you want to cry.’ I had never had a pap smear, so for him to put a metal object inside of me was worse than the actual rape,” Bozeman said.

Research shows that most victims of sexual assault are minors.

According to RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) –  the largest anti-sexual violence organization in the US –  82 percent of sexual abuse victims are under the age of 18, meaning that many young women’s first sexual experience is by force.

Equally disturbing is the fact that rapists are the least likely of all criminals to be punished for their crime. Out of 1,000 rapes, only 6 rapists will actually be incarcerated, meaning that perpetrators of sexual violence are less likely to go to prison for their crime than other criminals.

About three months after the ordeal, Bozeman was raped a second time by a different perpetrator.

“The second one was more violent. I fought back, but he overpowered me,” Bozeman said. “And because I wasn’t able to have an abortion this time, I was angry. I felt like he ruined my life and I did not want to forgive him for a long time.”

Bozeman had a baby girl at 16.

People around her passed judgment and labelled her promiscuous, not bothering to ask her what actually happened. All they saw was a teenager with a baby on her hip.

“My (extended) family didn’t know who I was,” Bozeman said. “I had been living in Kentucky and then Germany for years. So, when I came back, they didn’t know who I was. And people had really made up their mind about what happened.”

As far back as 1991, studies have shown that victims of sexual assault have a higher risk of sexual revictimization. According to a study by the School of Public Health, University of California, Los Angeles, of the 433 respondents who had been sexually assaulted, two-thirds reported more than one incident, with the average number of incidents per person being 3.2.

The study also found that personal traits were not related to the risk of a subsequent attack.

Bozeman’s self-confidence sunk to an all-time low, and for nearly 20 years, she bottled up her emotions and carried the shame and the anger that stemmed from the assaults.

For years she was haunted by an overwhelming sense of guilt and had recurring dreams of the child she aborted.

“The child was a boy. He would say over and over again, ‘Mommy, why did you kill me?’ I could see his face so clearly. I would wake up out of my sleep crying uncontrollably and apologizing saying I didn’t know what I’d done, and I didn’t mean to do this.” – Chandi Rae Bozeman

As if that weren’t bad enough, Bozeman was tormented by a negative narrative she couldn’t escape.

“You’re dumb, nobody gets raped twice…

“My family hates me. I’ve embarrassed my entire family. No one trusts me, they think I’m a liar…

“No one will want me because I have a child...”

Bozeman joined a church and first told her story publicly when one of the women at her church asked her to share her experience during a women’s evening session about seven years ago. This was the opportunity Bozeman had been waiting for.

“It actually was very freeing. People had really made up their minds about what happened, and I was excited to finally say what really happened,” Bozeman said. “What I realized as I was telling my story is that I had blocked out a lot of things that I began to remember as I talked. It made me very emotional and showed me that I had a lot of healing to do.”

Bozeman decided to take charge of her own life and got to work. She invested in herself, attended personal development classes, workshops, and conferences. One of the classes she took was a boot camp class offered by renowned motivational speaker Les Brown.

She quickly began to experience growth in her personal life and her mindset shifted. For the first time in a long time, she reconnected with the young girl who had been violated, and gave her a voice. Bozeman gave herself permission to be more than a victim of rape, she was a survivor. She was more than what had happened to her, and now, she was determined to change the narrative of her story.

“Aside from my mother, and select members of my immediate family, I didn’t really have friends,” she said. “But as I began to grow and change, I lost some relationships, which, I later found out were not friendships, they were familiarships.”

Familiarships, Bozeman explained, are connections with people from our pasts – maybe they were broken in the same area, so the connection was based on the brokenness. And once you begin to grow and heal, that connection is lost and the friendship disintegrates because that which linked you to that person is no longer there... Click to read more on Page 2

Read Part 1 of Chandi's story here.

 “Some people thrive off of sympathy. And they constantly try to figure out how to make people feel sorry for them because that’s what feeds them,” Bozeman said. “People sometimes stay in a victimized role because there are perks to being a victim – people want to give you things and do things for you. But I don’t want that. I don’t want anybody feeling sorry for me.”

Inspired to help other women heal from their past, Bozeman founded her company Edge Luxe Image Consulting, LLC, and created Vanish Board™ Workshop, Image Is Inside Out™ Women’s Empowerment, which aims to transform women from the inside out.

“Most of the people I coach have no clue they are half as broken as they are. They’ve mastered how to forget their pain. So, when I begin to coach them, I hear what they don’t say, and I’m able to connect the dots and I’ll say something that triggers the story.” – Chandi Rae Bozeman

Over the years, Bozeman has become aware of how valuable her gift is, but she will only devote time towards help people who are sincere and willing to do the work.

“I respect my gift so much and I know that it’s not me, it’s a God-given gift. I don’t look at my work as a business, it’s ministry to me. I will not minister to someone for the sake of a dollar. I reverence God so much that I’m not casting my pearls before swine. Period.” – Chandi Rae Bozeman

In addition to being a confidence and accountability coach, Bozeman trains other coaches and helps them become certified in their area of expertise in just four weeks.

Another facet of her brand is special program geared towards school-age children.

Image Inside Out Academy is a curriculum created for elementary age students and high school age students. Bozeman partners up with schools to offer her curriculum, which prepares young people for the realities of life by offering a fun, creative and thought-provoking curriculum designed to equip students with fundamental tools to develop an authentic image from the inside out through the discovery of self-worth, confidence, and character building.

By participating, students will be educated, inspired, and empowered to present the best version of themselves at all times for a lifetime. Topics covered in the curriculum include:

• Who Am I - Self-confidence Building


• SelfieSteem - Social media training (what does your pics and post say about your image)


• Rapfirmation - Affirmations in the form of rap, song, and music team building


• Mind to Meditate - Calming your thoughts, clearing your heart, and intention setting


• Vanish Board™ - Uprooting negative personal perception and re-soiling with positive perspectives


• Etiquette - Interviews, Dinner, Attire, Greeting & Conversing


• Body Language - Nonverbal messages


• Integrity - Character Building


• Individuality - The power in being unique


• Niche Discovery – Recognizing natural strengths and abilities


• Graduation Ceremony – Certificate of Completion

“Not every child is mothered; some don’t have fathers. And if they do, their parents may not have passed on information to these kids about how to make it in life,” Bozeman said. “The curriculum really prepares them from the world and helps them self-discover what they are great at.”

In addition, Bozeman and her husband, Jamel Bozeman, have a show called A Grown Conversation, and the couple has partnered up to create an inspirational clothing line called God Body. The line of T-shirts serves as a reminder for people to honour God with their bodies.

Bozeman’s passion is evident in all of her endeavors, and she has published her first book Confidence Conflict: The Ultimate Exercise Journal to Help You Tell Your Story, which provides a step by step guide to uprooting negative perceptions.

“I specialize in building your confidence, and I’m your ultimate accountability partner to help you get to that next level. If you feel stuck and don’t know where to go with your dreams and goals, I’m the person who helps you get a clear vision. And in the meantime, I help you do some emotional cleansing because, a lot of times, what holds us back is our emotional baggage.” - Chandi Rae Bozeman

This year has turned out to be a busy one for Bozeman as she continues to expand her brand and impact the lives of women around the world.

Next year, Bozeman is set to travel to Africa for a women’s empowerment conference, and to pour into women seeking to turn their pain into purpose.

Ultimately, Bozeman is determined to live life on purpose, unashamed and unapologetically, and extends an invitation to all who are willing to join her on an amazing journey of self-discovery.

Bozeman featured in Dayton Daily News.

Bozeman’s most recent creation is T-Shirt line which sums up her story in a simple yet profound phrase: “Long Story Short, I Made It.”

Indeed, she has.

To learn more about Chandi Rae, or to inquire about any of the programs she offers, connect with her on any of the following platforms:

Instagram: @mrs_chandirae

Facebook: Chandi Allen-Bozeman (Chandi Rae)

Website: http://chandirae.com/

Website: https://www.tellyourstorytheconference.com/

Tell Your Story Documentary about Chandi Rae: