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XOXO
A Father's Day Tribute: To All My Fathers
My grandfather, whom I lovingly call Dad to this day, took it upon himself to shield and protect me as if I were his own child. He stepped into the role of my father when my mother returned to school, becoming my anchor and my hero.
XOXO: Dear Hurting Human
Anytime my body flares up and the pain is intense, I always think about other people living with chronic illness. And today, I can’t help but write to you, dear hurting human.
Dear Hopeless Romantic
Don’t believe the hype, sis. Don’t let them sell you a lie. True love still exists. Real, committed, “you and me” kind of love. The twenty-first century will try to convince you that the safest way to love is not to love at all. Casual hook-ups and meaningless sex are the way to go. And if that’s truly your cup of tea, then have at it, sis. Don’t let this romantic true-love bel
Dear Average
I see you out here living your best regular life, working your regular job, having your regular dinner in front of a regular TV show, and going to your regular bed in your regular pyjamas. You don’t identify with the hustle culture so highly praised on social media. You’re quite content to clock in and out at your 9-5 and have your regular weekends to yourself. You have no wild
Rapid Fire, PR, Hustler, Lava - Who's in your Girl Squad?
We’re talking about girl squads today. Now we know that every woman has a circle of friends that she cannot do without. Women who hold you up and are willing to come to the rescue at a moment's notice. Tell us if you have these women in your girl squad.
So, What are you Doing with Your Emotional Symptoms?
A few years ago, I interviewed a woman who had recently opened up about a health condition she had vowed to keep hidden. I had known Berlange Presilus for a number of years, but knew her as an outgoing, fun-loving soul with a beautiful smile. She was a fashion model and exuded confidence.
Check that Baggage, Sis!
My children and I have spent the last few months travelling and hauling 12 pieces of luggage everywhere we go. In some ways, it feels like we have become experts at handling baggage.
Dear Reader, Thank You...
With all the ups and downs this year, we want to take a moment to say an enormous “THANK YOU” to you, our loyal readers. This year 199,503 of you came to our website to read our content. We appreciate all the shares, likes, comments and emails are truly grateful for your unwavering support.
Dear Change
I’ve struggled more times than I can count to adapt to the abrupt shift you bring. You’ve often come as a gift I could clearly recognize because you were bright and shiny and appealed to all my senses. I’ve welcomed you many times with open arms and found it hard to contain my excitement over the idea of you.
Dear Woman
This is an assertion to every woman out there: You are beautiful – a beautiful beauty that radiates from within. You are more than that: you are fire, spirit and force combined. Life forces often compress and pressure you and instead of dissolving away, you come out as beautiful as a diamond! A rare diamond cooked under intense pressure.
Sis, Let's Talk About That Man-Made Love
When Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden and realized that they were naked, they scurried off to find a solution – albeit temporary – for something that was missing. They were exposed and because they couldn’t bear the reality of their choice, they rushed to create a pseudo-solution from the work of their hands.
My Prayer for You This Year - Reaching Heights Unknown
Happy New Year to all our readers! We took a break over the holiday season to regroup and plan for an even greater year of inspiring content for you, and we are excited about our vision for 2020.
Affected by HIV
Death, l have always viewed you differently and always will. Dozens of people in my life have become a mere memory because of you. I will not generalise on this death issue but will be specific as to the death l speak of because millions across the world have not only been infected but like me, have been affected by HIV.
Dear Single Woman
Today I'm boiling maize cobs. The smell coming from the pot reminds me of home. I remember the smoke from the cabin where we cooked our sadza (pap). My mother always told me that sadza cooked on the fire tasted better than that from the electric stove. I never tasted the difference, but now I miss her sadza.
To My Single Sisters Living with HIV
Being HIV positive in a world that is full of stigma and discrimination is a burden on its own, but being an HIV positive woman can be even more challenging. There are certain functions you cannot attend or sleepovers you are scared of going to because of the fear that someone might just find out and your secret will be out.
Mother of Girls
I’m a mother of girls. My makeup doesn’t belong to me. It is communal property. Ditto my shoes and handbags. Custody of the contents of my wardrobe is shared between us all.
I Know Your Pain
I know your pain. I know how much your soul hurts. Heartbreaks are not easy to overcome. They are terrible and dreadful losses. And sometimes they put us in an emotional abyss so deep that we no longer know how to tell the difference between reality and our fears.
Dear Past Versions of Me
It’s a little awkward meeting you like this. We’ve been together literally all of life, but yet we are like a bunch of strangers thrown together at a dinner party none of us wanted to attend.
The Invisible Scar
There’s no make-up to hide the bruises he left on your self-esteem. You’re not even sure if they are real bruises or if maybe you’re just over sensitive? I mean, everybody fights, right? Sometimes even the kindest people say the most hurtful things to the ones they love, don’t they?
Dear Green Salad...
There’s no point in pretending that we have anything in common. I don’t particularly like you. Never have. Honestly, I barely tolerate you. I mean, look at you. You’re so perfect and colourful and healthy! You’re nothing like me. I’m brown and warm and soft. Like cake.
Dear Secret Admirer...
When you look at my life through your eyes, all you probably see is perfection and it humbles me in so many ways. It is generally easier to build a perception of someone based on the idea that the one moment they made an impression will recur throughout their life.
The Thoughts of an Insecure, Troubled Soul
They say everyone is beautiful in their own way, everyone is unique, everyone is important, everyone is valuable, everyone should be comfortable in their own skin, and so on. They say a lot of things suggesting I am beautiful and somehow that is supposed to make me feel good about myself.
Dear Insecure Dreamer...
Each time I listen to a success story being told, there seems to be a subtle element of competition in almost every one of these stories.
Dear Younger Me...
Hi. I wonder if you’ll recognize me. I’m you, in about 20 years. I think you’ll be proud of who I’ve turned out to be. At least, I hope you will. The thing is, for the first time, your opinion is the only one that really matters.
Dear Dreamer...
You have probably envisioned your “happily ever after” based on your dream. You have a clear picture of where you are headed, but the question is what is the next step? How will you get there? Without a plan or strategy, your dream will always be just a dream.
Dear Intuition, I Believe You
For the longest time I believed the best decisions in life were based on experience, facts, reasoning and sound advice…everything but you.
To a Sister Struggling With Identity...
I know you struggle with your identity. You are trying to know and understand yourself. To strip out the layers which have protected you over the years. For how can you know yourself if you have not stared at your emotional nakedness or your mental vulnerability?
My Moment of Shame, and My Commitment to My Fellow Women
The other day, I was having lunch with some of my friends when a shabbily dressed woman passed by. The woman, who appeared to have been in her twenties, had a baby on her back and a sack on her head. One of the girls I was with made a crude joke about the woman’s dressing, and we all laughed. I didn’t think much of the incident, only to be reminded of it when I read an article
Rigid, They Say? I Disagree
People say there is a thin line between being principled and being rigid. The line is so fine that the two are often carelessly equated. I am constantly reminded of this when I see women being judged harshly for their decisions and for standing up for what they believe. Imagine a life where one spends their whole life explaining being true to themself? There was a time I actual
To a Sister Finding it Hard to Forgive...
“…forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us…” “To err is human, but to forgive is divine.” Dear Sis, I know it’s hard to forgive. I know it’s even harder to forget. It’s easier to hold on to grudges. It’s easier to stand in self-righteousness and count all the wrongs done unto us. But is that what you want for your life? …Those things they said about you were m
Dear Spectator...
I have discovered that the common feuds that exist between a spectator and a player have lived on for as long as I can remember, and solving them won’t be easy without cooperation from the parties involved. In all genuineness, both perspectives are valid and based on where each one stands. But I guess what matters at the end of the day is how each view can be useful and for wha
Dear Seeker...
You feel down today because only 60 people liked your post. You were hoping for at least 100. You check your feed every few minutes, wondering when the masses are going to swoop in and marvel at the selfie you just posted. Then you look to see which “friends” are online and wonder why they haven’t liked your picture yet. You take that personally.
Note to Self: I Am a Role Model
There are so many things I wish I had known earlier in my life. So many decisions I wish I could remake if time and chance permitted. I probably long for that now because I am burdened by the weight of knowing that I will forever be someone’s role model. To be honest, I was a role model before I even realized it, and I guess I underestimated the impact I had on others. That cha
Dear Future Me...
To date, I’ve lived up to the expectations of the woman I envisioned myself to be almost three decades ago. I certainly had no idea that I would stick to that dream, but I did anyway. What I did was remember the woman I had set out to become. It’s funny how I had it all figured out, from the stages I was going to grace, the style of fashion I would gravitate to, to the kind of
Dear Motherless Daughter...
Written by guest contributor Tatenda Rungisa She’s gone and your heart is broken. All that’s left is a cold, shattered life. It’s sad; it’s lonely, and it leaves a huge, gaping hole in your heart. It messes with your mind. It brings anger into your heart - anger that you never knew existed. "Why me?" you continuously ask yourself. “Why did it have to be MY mother?” Your friends
Dear Bud,
One thing I always try to tell every woman I meet is that the magnificence of every flower is only seen when it blossoms. Before a bud blooms, it has no footprint of any significance no matter how many people know of its potential beauty. I’ve heard many talented people say they’re waiting for the right opportunity to start making a living out of their gifts, and how they’re wa
Dear Wannabe It Girl,
Dear Expectant Dreamer...
The struggles that women go through are no secret. The journey to success for a woman is not a stroll in the park. Tears will be shed, accusations will be carelessly thrown towards them, discouragement will become the norm of the day…the list is endless. Be that as it may, the assumption that women understand each other’s hustle better than men do and will, therefore, be more s
Dear Fearless Dreamer...
Have you ever wondered why people will sometimes push you into doing something you strongly feel is far from what you’ve ever envisioned for yourself? Many people have nervously explored uncharted territory and discovered that this new venture is what they were looking for all along.
Dear Trouble, I'm Ready...
I am not amused. For years I've kept my composure and refrained from addressing you directly. In fact, I've been afraid of you most of my life.
Dear Tomorrow...
You and I have spent a lot of quality time trying to get to know each other. I’ve spent numerous hours thinking about you. In my dreams, I've imagined what you look like and what you have to offer me. I’ve always pictured you and I riding off into the sunset and living happily ever after. Ah, but thoughts of you have also caused me great distress - tossing and turning during th
Dear "I'm-Not-Good-Enough"...
It’s sad how suddenly all your confidence was stripped from you and you were left naked in shame and insecurities. Before you met him, you were your own fan and nothing was strong enough to pull you down, which is why this turnaround is so puzzling. The day you met him, you lost yourself and everything became all about him. Is that what love is truly about?
To Me, With Love
As I stand here and stare at the reflection in the mirror, I realize my victim is no stranger - we share the same heartbeat. Though I’ve known you since birth, I confess that I haven’t always been good to you. I've neglected my responsibility to always treasure you, and now it’s time to make amends. Often times, I’ve put you down and judged you harshly. On many occasions, I tho
Dear Depressed Woman...
You are in a dark place that feels overwhelming. You hope that tomorrow might be different, but nothing seems to change. Every day that passes by has the same monotony as the day before. Every so often, you see glimmers of light through a sunny day, a laughing child, a great concert, an adoring pet, the smell of flowers, and all other little life pleasures. And these moments ma
Dear Broken Flower...
You've heard them share how their dignity was robbed from them as if that is nothing. They share their stories as if they have no shame and as if that story will not affect people’s perception of them. They talk of how they were raped and how they moved on as if they are telling a bedtime story. They recite their stories as if they are describing a movie and as if they are at p
Past, I'm Moving On!
Since a new month has rolled around, I find it necessary to address the status of our relationship. I have tried over and over to break free from you, Past, but you keep contacting me. The moment I gathered up the strength to leave you, I packed up my 10 suitcases filled with memories we shared and escaped; running for dear life away from you. The first days without you were li
Loving the Real Me
Learning to be grateful for what makes you unique.I can think back to countless times in my younger days when I picked myself apart and found everything wrong with me. From my height, to my facial features, and even my personality. One thing that bothered me the most was the fact that no matter where I went, I always felt different. But now that I've settled into my 30s and hav