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Random Ramblings
Got Empty Cup Syndrome?
I see you, sis. You’ve spent so much of your life giving yourself to other people that when you do anything for yourself, it feels like you’re stealing. You feel so unsettled when you can’t respond to a text message immediately or take a call because you’ve been so available for so long. And now when you’re too busy to attend to someone else’s needs, or too tired, not only are
Procrastination Station
Why do now what you can put off until tomorrow? That, my friend, is the question a serial procrastinator such as Yours Truly asks pretty much daily. Whatever the task at hand might be, must it absolutely be done immediately? “Because I tend to work really well in a high-pressure situation” is the lie I often tell. In my defense, I believed it to be the truth. But with some grow
The Cost of Fear
I talked a little bit the other day about how decisions made based on fear can be detrimental not only to ourselves, the impact is far reaching. In Exodus chapter 1, the Israelites had increased in numbers over the years and became so numerous that the Egyptians became fearful of them. They were afraid that they would be able to overpower the Egyptians or form allies with their
The Weekend That Never Ended
“Thank God it’s Friday,” they say. Monday is “blue” and the week is always long and everybody gets super excited when Thursday night comes because Friday is so close! Everybody loves Friday!
There Will Be No Snapback Here
It’s been seven months since I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. A wrinkled, scrawny, tiny, screaming, entitled little blessing. My third baby. My third time bringing a human life into this world. Third C-section. Three times, my body has stretched itself to accommodate another life. For the third time, my boobs have been converted into a baby food manufacturing plant. And so
Beauty Beyond Skin
Growing up, l would often hear my elders talk of how one was beautiful because of their light skin. l would in turn scrutinize the mentioned person and discover that nope, my elders were wrong. Beauty is beauty, light-skinned or not.
Redefining 'Successful Relationships'
Relationships are no walk in the park and neither are they a bed of roses if both people involved do not put effort to make it work. Imagine two totally different individuals from differing backgrounds vowing to be together for life, for better and for worse.
Popular Quotes I Can't Endorse
I read a thing the other day that said, “The best weight you will ever lose, is the weight of other people’s expectations.” I understand the sentiment but I’m like…nah, I’m really just trying to lose this weight (grabs belly)! Because right now, I’m trying to fit into these jeans, and other people’s expectations are not the ones making that impossible!
Mud Hut Mansion
She sweeps her dusty yard, and underneath is just more dirt. But she loves it though. It looks prettier this way. Neater. It’s still dirt, but it looks taken care of. Manicured, if you will.
I'm a Warrior And Have the Scars to Prove It
Nobody is born with scars. These are things that happen during our lifetime and are a clear indication of what we have survived. They tell a story. A story that we are stronger than our pain.
Time
Where does it go? Where does it come from? Where does it live? Who does it belong to? You can’t borrow more. You can’t recall the minutes wasted and use them now. You can’t put it away to use sometime later when you’re more prepared for it. It never laps over itself.
If it Requires my Kid to Sit Still and Keep Quiet...
I read this on a Facebook post the other day, and I thought that truer words had never been spoken.
The Perils of a Novice Gardener
I recently started a few gardening projects. I had been toying with the idea of getting into gardening for about a year and got a bunch of videos to help get me started. Before then, I had never really grown anything beyond herbs in a pot.
Failure vs. Success
So another plan of yours has crashed and burned. Things didn’t go the way you expected they would. You’re not an idiot so of course you had a back-up plan, just in case, but even that didn’t account for just how badly things would turn out.
9 Things a Grown Woman Doesn't Care About
We are grown women and we are done playing by everyone else’s rules. This is our life and we’re going to live it exactly how we want to. Life is too short for people-pleasing, staying quiet, or caring about all the things that don’t really matter. We are powerful ladies who don’t need to stick to your standards.
Things Your Kid Will Probably Never Say
I wish mom would do more dishes, mop more floors and fold more laundry rather than spend time with me. It’s really important to me that everything in this house is absolutely perfectly polished and manicured at all times.
The Hotter it Gets, the Stronger you Become
No two stories are the same no matter how alike they seem. Everyone has their own version, but it is always easier to paint the whole world based on what you are familiar with. Whether you think your pain is worse or lighter, at the end of the day, pain is pain.
To-Do List: Annual Edition
It’s gone pretty much the same way in the past x number of years, right? After the over indulgence of the festive season, reality kicks in and the air is alive with possibility, filled with the newness of the coming year! “New year, new me,” we often hear around this time.
Demystifying Societal Expectations
Depression, anxiety, misery, hate, jealousy are common feelings amongst us as women. Despite the stresses of this world bringing about these feelings, society has contributed to a lot of us feeling this way as we spend a lot of time trying to live up to societal expectations
Tis the Most Wonderful Time of the Year
The onslaught of beautifully corny high-sugar, low nutrient holiday movies has begun. We know Susan ends up with the charming small town guy after the high powered attorney she’s been dating turns out to be a complete jerk. We’re still going to watch it all unfold though.
Before you Come...
Before you come into my life you need to understand that I am damaged and broken. I’m lost. I can’t find myself; I get triggered easily.
Things They Didn't Tell You About Motherhood
I know what you’re thinking. How hard could it possibly be? (Insert eye roll). Bajillions of women do this thing every single day, including teenagers! Books upon books have been written about motherhood. Is there anything new to be told?
Expectations vs. Reality - One Size Doesn't Fit All
There is nothing more difficult than walking in someone else’s shoes. There is a lot that is usually overlooked and yet every detail matters. We barely have the same footing even when we are wearing the same shoe and are headed in the same direction. Hence, the same pair of shoes will never feel the same way to everyone.
3 Things Not to Say to a Stay At Home Mom
I don’t know, maybe I am. I certainly don’t always feel lucky. Which is not to say I feel unlucky. I just feel…tired, really.
Diary of a Make-Up Addict
Exposed to the Same Sun
Inasmuch as we are all different, it is common for people to expect the same results from different people simply based on the fact that their situations are seemingly the same. Ironically, so many have been disappointed because their results differed.
Compromise Isn't Always the Answer
Sometimes it’s difficult to understand compromise, and how it can derail you from your goals. Boundaries are constantly being shifted every now and then to temporarily suit whoever deems it necessary. We are generally easily swayed to the extent that it is difficult to stand for what we believe in without giving in to some form of pressure. We claim we all have our standards bu
Wisdom From the "Inexperienced" Might Just be the Advice You Need
Sometimes I wonder about the old adage, “there is wisdom in grey hair.” It seems the implication is that sound advice only comes from the elderly, and the young should wait until they are “of age” to be considered wise. Some then choose to live their lives guided by the mantra, “experience is the best teacher” to the extent that the only advice that matters to them is the one c
Rigid, They Say? I Disagree
People say there is a thin line between being principled and being rigid. The line is so fine that the two are often carelessly equated. I am constantly reminded of this when I see women being judged harshly for their decisions and for standing up for what they believe. Imagine a life where one spends their whole life explaining being true to themself? There was a time I actual
Fighting Limitations
The world has a tendency of placing limitations on us before we have the chance to prove our capabilities. Sadly, we often give in and accept these limitations and sometimes even participate in gender discrimination by placing those same limitations on the next woman. In the end, many women never realize their full potential.
I Am My Sister's Keeper
As much as I'd like to believe that my life is mine to live, I can't deny the power of my influence. I'm not a queen or first lady; I don't hold a scepter in my hand. I'm not the head of a Fortune 500 company, neither do I sit on the board of directors of your favourite charity. No one is banging down my door to get my autograph or running me off the road to take my picture. An
It's Not Personal, I Just Can't Save You From Yourself
One of the most important lessons that has had an enormous impact on my life is learning that I cannot change people.
To the “They” Club...
I usually address my letters with some endearing salutation but I feel some type of way about you all and I prefer to be blunt rather than fake. All my life I’ve been cautioned about you - "What will 'they' think?" or, "What will 'they' say?" "They" Club, pardon me for being so brusque, but who are you people who seem to invisibly control what I and others do? I have often been
You Have The Right To Be Different
People talk about flowers and their seasons in relation to a woman’s life. Every decision a young woman makes is too often accompanied by the following reminder: “Remember you are a girl and you will soon wither. You can forgo these other things for now…” “This is not the time for you to be furthering your education. Why don’t you settle down first then you can talk about educa
Womanhood Is Not A Curse
The other day I was a guest on Zimbabwe’s National Broadcasting Channel to talk about my book that I recently published. I asked to receive the interview questions in advance so I could prepare, but for some reason the host of the show was not forthcoming and I decided to just let it go. Little did I know I was walking into what I call "an ambush of the feminine pride". The fir
The Best Goodbyes
We often view trees with no leaves as bare and ugly. Indeed, leaves dancing in the breeze with grace are picturesque, and much of a tree’s identity is in its leaves.
Sometimes the Simplest Question is the Hardest to Answer
Dear Mirror,
A complicated relationship you and I have had over the years. As a baby, I marveled at you because you loved to play games with me. What a tease you were. You showed me someone who looked and acted just like me - she did everything I did! When I laughed she laughed, too. But I could never touch her. Your little games were cute back then but I’m not laughing any more. You like t
My Beauty
What is this "thing" we strive for but cannot describe? Beauty, what does it mean to me? I’m glad you asked. I’ll tell you about my beauty. My beauty is how I was created, Not what my money can fix. My beauty is not the way that I sway, But the path I choose to walk. My beauty is not in the length of my hair, But in my boldness to wear it however I please, Regardless of what so