Writer
Sibongile Mlotshwa Lugube
33 stories
Got Empty Cup Syndrome?
I see you, sis. You’ve spent so much of your life giving yourself to other people that when you do anything for yourself, it feels like you’re stealing. You feel so unsettled when you can’t respond to a text message immediately or take a call because you’ve been so available for so long. And now when you’re too busy to attend to someone else’s needs, or too tired, not only are
Procrastination Station
Why do now what you can put off until tomorrow? That, my friend, is the question a serial procrastinator such as Yours Truly asks pretty much daily. Whatever the task at hand might be, must it absolutely be done immediately? “Because I tend to work really well in a high-pressure situation” is the lie I often tell. In my defense, I believed it to be the truth. But with some grow
Dear Hopeless Romantic
Don’t believe the hype, sis. Don’t let them sell you a lie. True love still exists. Real, committed, “you and me” kind of love. The twenty-first century will try to convince you that the safest way to love is not to love at all. Casual hook-ups and meaningless sex are the way to go. And if that’s truly your cup of tea, then have at it, sis. Don’t let this romantic true-love bel
Dear Average
I see you out here living your best regular life, working your regular job, having your regular dinner in front of a regular TV show, and going to your regular bed in your regular pyjamas. You don’t identify with the hustle culture so highly praised on social media. You’re quite content to clock in and out at your 9-5 and have your regular weekends to yourself. You have no wild
The Weekend That Never Ended
“Thank God it’s Friday,” they say. Monday is “blue” and the week is always long and everybody gets super excited when Thursday night comes because Friday is so close! Everybody loves Friday!
There Will Be No Snapback Here
It’s been seven months since I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. A wrinkled, scrawny, tiny, screaming, entitled little blessing. My third baby. My third time bringing a human life into this world. Third C-section. Three times, my body has stretched itself to accommodate another life. For the third time, my boobs have been converted into a baby food manufacturing plant. And so
Sleeping Beauty
So here we go again. It’s that time of the year once again and reflection time sets in. How much of what I planned at the start of the year did I accomplish? Where could I have done better? Did I gain anything other than weight? Did I lose anything other than a bit of my sanity? Did I learn any new life skills (e.g. maintaining an interested look right through my child’s very d
Popular Quotes I Can't Endorse
I read a thing the other day that said, “The best weight you will ever lose, is the weight of other people’s expectations.” I understand the sentiment but I’m like…nah, I’m really just trying to lose this weight (grabs belly)! Because right now, I’m trying to fit into these jeans, and other people’s expectations are not the ones making that impossible!
A Word
It’s amazing the impact that this collection of letters put together on a page can have on a person, not just in the moment, but long term. You remember that love letter you got from your crush way back when; you practically had it memorized word for word. That tense phone conversation that you relayed to your girlfriends later as you collectively tried to figure out what hidde
Second Best
I know, I know…nobody tries for second place. We give our all, we put it all on the line and we go for the win. We often tell our kids that they can do anything that they put their minds to. Until they tell us that when they grow up, they want to be a giraffe. Then we have to backtrack. Now they can do almost anything. But even that isn’t always necessarily all the way accurate
Mud Hut Mansion
She sweeps her dusty yard, and underneath is just more dirt. But she loves it though. It looks prettier this way. Neater. It’s still dirt, but it looks taken care of. Manicured, if you will.
Strong Girl Tears
“You’ve got to pick yourself up and keep moving forward,” I often hear after a catastrophic fail. “Don’t wallow in self-pity! Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Get up and try again. Winners never quit, and quitters never win! It’s not over until you give up!”
More Than Just a Hair Journey
It was about 3 years ago that I sat down in front of my mirror, getting ready to relax the new growth on my struggling, breaking, thinning, lifeless hair. I stared at my reflection, looked at the box of hair relaxer, and then back at my reflection. My reflection and I both agreed in that moment. I remember my exact words were, “Nah!” and I threw the box out. And thus began my n
Time
Where does it go? Where does it come from? Where does it live? Who does it belong to? You can’t borrow more. You can’t recall the minutes wasted and use them now. You can’t put it away to use sometime later when you’re more prepared for it. It never laps over itself.
If it Requires my Kid to Sit Still and Keep Quiet...
I read this on a Facebook post the other day, and I thought that truer words had never been spoken.
Mother of Girls
I’m a mother of girls. My makeup doesn’t belong to me. It is communal property. Ditto my shoes and handbags. Custody of the contents of my wardrobe is shared between us all.
Failure vs. Success
So another plan of yours has crashed and burned. Things didn’t go the way you expected they would. You’re not an idiot so of course you had a back-up plan, just in case, but even that didn’t account for just how badly things would turn out.
Things Your Kid Will Probably Never Say
I wish mom would do more dishes, mop more floors and fold more laundry rather than spend time with me. It’s really important to me that everything in this house is absolutely perfectly polished and manicured at all times.
Limited Edition
Suppose you inherited a piece of jewelry that had been in your family for centuries. Suppose it is the only one of its kind. Suppose your family lost it at one time and went to great lengths to finally get it back to its rightful owners, and it has now been passed down from generation to generation.
Seven Days
I know they say you have to plan like you’re going to live forever, right? This is basically just to encourage that sense of responsibility. I get it. It’s just that sometimes I feel like we get so caught up in preparing for the future that we forget how to live in the present.
Dear Past Versions of Me
It’s a little awkward meeting you like this. We’ve been together literally all of life, but yet we are like a bunch of strangers thrown together at a dinner party none of us wanted to attend.
To-Do List: Annual Edition
It’s gone pretty much the same way in the past x number of years, right? After the over indulgence of the festive season, reality kicks in and the air is alive with possibility, filled with the newness of the coming year! “New year, new me,” we often hear around this time.
Tis the Most Wonderful Time of the Year
The onslaught of beautifully corny high-sugar, low nutrient holiday movies has begun. We know Susan ends up with the charming small town guy after the high powered attorney she’s been dating turns out to be a complete jerk. We’re still going to watch it all unfold though.
Cut From a Different Cloth
You’ve heard it before, right? If you’ve been around long enough, it’s been said about you or someone you know. “She’s not ‘wife material.’” Or maybe you’ve heard its favourable opposite: “Now that’s ‘wife material.’”
Things They Didn't Tell You About Motherhood
I know what you’re thinking. How hard could it possibly be? (Insert eye roll). Bajillions of women do this thing every single day, including teenagers! Books upon books have been written about motherhood. Is there anything new to be told?
The Invisible Scar
There’s no make-up to hide the bruises he left on your self-esteem. You’re not even sure if they are real bruises or if maybe you’re just over sensitive? I mean, everybody fights, right? Sometimes even the kindest people say the most hurtful things to the ones they love, don’t they?
Queen of the Jungle
There is an African proverb that says, “No matter the economy of the jungle, the lion will never eat grass.”I know you’ve probably heard it all before. Things aren’t the same as they used to be in the good old days. Jobs are scarce. Men? They don’t make them like they used to!
Dear Green Salad...
There’s no point in pretending that we have anything in common. I don’t particularly like you. Never have. Honestly, I barely tolerate you. I mean, look at you. You’re so perfect and colourful and healthy! You’re nothing like me. I’m brown and warm and soft. Like cake.
Protecting Your BFF
First question. Have you ever eavesdropped on a conversation between two people, where one is going off on the other? I mean, straight disrespect, cruelty even, venom dripping off every word. When this happens, often times, we get the urge to rush to the other party’s defense, even if we don’t know the whole story.
3 Things Not to Say to a Stay At Home Mom
I don’t know, maybe I am. I certainly don’t always feel lucky. Which is not to say I feel unlucky. I just feel…tired, really.
Diary of a Make-Up Addict
Green Eyes
Evict her from your head space, she’s no friend of yours. What good has she ever done you? All she does is magnify what you don’t have and take for granted what you do. She shifts your focus from yourself onto others and never appreciates your accomplishments, your intelligence, your beauty, your strength.
Dear Younger Me...
Hi. I wonder if you’ll recognize me. I’m you, in about 20 years. I think you’ll be proud of who I’ve turned out to be. At least, I hope you will. The thing is, for the first time, your opinion is the only one that really matters.